I’m just getting out of a 5-hour long meeting for business of Adult Young Friends, a Friends General Conference group for Quakers between the ages of 18 and 35. They’re wrestling with a tough issue that has the community in constant tears. But they’re doing it in a productive, spiritual Quakerly manner, which has been lost in many venues of Friends.
At its heart is babies. Because of the group’s large age range, some of its members find themselves with children before they feel ready to leave the group for the abyss of the general conference, which they find somewhat uninviting. They want to stay in the AYF dorm at FGC Gatherings, attend AYF events, and be normal members of the community – with their kids in tow.
But some don’t want the kids there. Having children in an adult group where foul language and rambunctious behavior are par for the course would significantly change the atmosphere and make some uncomfortable. For them, AYF is a space to interact with others their own age, away from middle-agers and babies, and it’s the only Quaker space for that they may have.
Some of the proposals to remedy the situation are to have a child-friendly wing in the dorm, make events earlier so parents can attend, or find money for childcare. No matter what’s decided, however, not everyone will be happy, and many will feel left out.
But the baby issue itself is not what it’s about. It’s more on the amazing way the group is working through the issue.
When a problem arises in a group in general society, the people in charge will conjure up a solution, and the population will have to adapt. Or, the population will debate and vote. Quakers do neither.
Quakers believe in unity, in which all members must agree to take a certain course of action. But that doesn’t mean they all like it or agree with it. Quakers aren’t looking for what they think the best solution is, they are listening to the Divine and trying to figure out where their light leads them.
Essentially, they combine their thoughts, feelings, and lights in to one corpus, and when one person has a concern, the whole meeting takes it on. The youth of Quakerism are really fostering a revival of the old ways of reaching unity, and tonight was a perfect example.
Even just to watch, the meeting tonight was excruciating. It took forever. No one could agree. Nothing was moving forward. In the end, they just decided to think on it more, and did not act on anything. But that doesn’t matter. In Quakerism, the process is often more important than the result.
Hashing through the issue brought the community together, even as it threatened to tear it apart. It’s rare to see people, especially young adults, who are are so open to discussing personal issues without feeling personally attacked. But everyone there was right on the mark, and willing to consider the options in respect to Quaker testimonies and the Divine.
On the other hand, I had attended a meeting before this with Friends Journal, the major publication for the Quaker denomination. A major topic of conversation was a group of advertisements from last year, sponsored by Quakers who were against abortion due to the peace testimonies.
The staff of the Journal had printed the ads, hoping that they would sponsor dialogue about the testimonies and what true Quaker values were. Instead, they were greeted with angry calls for censorship. Instead of wanting to discuss the issue of abortion and seek the will of the Divine, many older Quakers wanted to close the issue and silence those with opposing views.
That is un-Quakerly. Quakers are generally good with dealing with addressing opposing viewpoints, but the partisan divide among Friends have caused many to blindly adopt positions, fighting without seeking.
Even if people feel they have the correct interpretation of the Light, many others will see it differently, and discussion is the only correct path. Closing oneself to the views of others only divides a community and fosters discontent.
Even with a heated issue such as abortion, older Quakers could learn a valuable lesson from the AYF youth, and search for the light with open hearts.
